We have been able to see in the last several chapters, peace of mind depends strictly on the way we see and treat the world. Peace of mind depends upon our state of mind, and our state of mind becomes a simple yet sometimes elusive awareness of decision for loving perception. From moment to moment we can choose to maintain our peace of mind. We choose to fill our mind with love's awareness rather than allow alternative ego thoughts. Regardless of what situation or relationship we find ourselves in, our simple choice is one of this moment's salvation.
There are several ways of approaching the choice for salvation. We can tune into our body and mind as we go through the day, noticing any moments when we are feeling discomfort, tension or strain. These are signals that ideas of fear have replaced those of love's potential. If you look at any such thoughts, you will probably come up with phrases like 'but look at what they've done to me,' or 'if I don't do something about this, then a harmful thing will happen.' or 'this time/event or circumstance is simply too overwhelming for me to handle.' There are many other such comments that you can hear your mind speaking when you're feeling discomfort. They all boil down to fear and fear is a lack of faith.
Put another way, all events that come our way challenge our spirit to recognize our willingness to decide for salvation. How willing are we to look at any event as an opportunity for us to see again the guidance that God provides us? With our open mindedness, all events, big or small, will guide us toward greater wisdom and the greater ability to see love's lessons in future relationships. What is put in front of us need no longer be a scary prospect, but rather one of mild curiosity. What does God wish to show me this time? How may I be so blessed? We can place foremost in our mind the conviction of our own continual salvation.
Relationships provide an arena for opportunities to choose salvation for our peace of mind . Although these relationships seem to differ in form, they all have a very large common denominator. They are opportunities to bring in the guidance of the Voice for God when we feel discomfort around what we may see as misunderstandings or disagreements. These too, for a wide variety of reasons, can lead us into the temptation of discomfort, a desire to take control, and the hopes of influencing or manipulating others so the relationship will go in a direction that we think would be less fearful. Any time that we attempt to control a relationship, we have actually entered into an unholy event in need of healing.
Discomfort in a relationship often happens when we block our mind;s heartfelt listening to the message of love our companion is showing us and instead we impose on that relationship what we expect it to become. We call this a 'special relationship' because instead of acting as equals, one of us is acting as if the relationship is here especially for them to make what they invent it to be. This is a clear example of ego, that is, the Edging of God Out of our relationship. This nightmare always results in greater fear, not less for both parties. Our expectations may overshadow what the other person has to offer us.
Our own ego imaginings always overshadow the loving essence of the relationship as it may truly unfold. We may deprive ourselves of what holy lessons about ourselves and our spiritual growth that can come from this relationship. Like riding on a wild horse, we can only join with the ride by giving both parties free rein. Only in loving and exquisite appreciation can the spirits involved find a way of connection, influenced by the freely invited presence of the Voice for God.
Have you ever had a verbal contest, which ultimately amounted to point/counterpoint on who is most right or who is least to blame? Any perceived need to be right or even 'more right' is based on judgement. We are imposing our view of righteousness upon the innocence of our brother/sister. Can we see how these disagreements imprison our own minds? The whole feeling of rightness presumes the other party to be wrong. When I am 'right' and you are 'Ôwrong', we are lead to feel very 'different' or separate from each other. For that moment we have turned away from the only reality, awareness of our oneness in love's connection.
Your companion wishes to learn from you, and as we open ourselves to learn from them, instantly, the atmosphere changes to one of peaceful salvation. There is never justification for placing our attention on differences. When we choose salvation, we choose to be totally open minded to what the other party can offer us by way of information, reflection, miracles and loving support. So, the next time that your partner spills coffee on your lap, choose to see a loving understanding for the error and an opportunity to clean it up together.
The decision to give and receive miracles helps us as an incentive to choose to decide for our own mind's salvation. Recently I saw a couple who described their marriage was closer than ever after over 50 years. When I asked what their secret was, the husband answered that as of late, he had become very hard of hearing; therefore, he literally did not hear points of controversy, as he would perceive them. Our mind's salvation is a choice to choose away from conflict when we begin to feel uneasiness. We don't have to make this choice alone. We have said before, the only step we need to take on our own is the choice to ask for the Holy Spirit, the Voice for God to enter into our present moment of awareness, our present moment of relationship.
Another example of how we learn through relationships is found in our conscious awareness of our mind's projections. Projection is the reflection of our mind's concept of itself upon the world we see. Like a mirror, these reflections can be loving or unloving forms of thought. Our companion becomes the projection mirror of our minds current self-concept. Whether we see joy, love, and happiness in our moments with another person, or we see conflict, pain, and misunderstanding, any and every aspect of our relationship experience has originated in our own mind's projections.
We can look at our relationships as a way of noticing how often we choose to see the Kingdom of Heaven within that relationship. Relationships which are only loving, kind and joyful reflect a mind nestled in God's light. A relationship, on the contrary, which is tense, shows us a mirror reflection of how we ourselves have placed fear above the altar of God. This is especially hard for many of us to face because we would like to think that which we see happening outside of us can't be controlled by us. Yet, as we have seen in the chapter on miracles, we can see what we choose to see in any event. Of the thousands of things that are occurring in any given moment around us, we choose to see only a very select few. Each of these awarenesses are filled with opportunities to see miracles. Any aspect of a relationship that we think initially is outside of ourselves and within another is really our mind's projection of what we need to look at within ourselves.
The mechanism to travel deeper into God's lessons for us is forgiveness. Forgiveness, as used here, is a frame of mind that helps us to recognize that what we thought the other person did has really not occurred with the judgments and projection that we have placed upon it. Forgiveness is not a form of pardon; instead it is a form of blessing. We overlook our temptation to judge and excersize our humble awareness of how a challenge can help us to heal from our hurts and open ourselves to our natural state, a mind of God's peace and love. Our forgiveness truly lives through the concept 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' Who among us does not feel better when we take a mistake, learn from it, and release ourselves from guilt that would otherwise hold us back from picking ourselves up and starting over? In seeing the unshakeable falseness in any need to punish or be punished, forgiveness is a bridge to the Kingdom of Heaven in a relationship.
Forgiveness is our state of mind making the loving decision to consciously choose to help our fellows through compassion rather than judgment.
We decide to treat our fellow human being in the faith that God will show us the way through any misunderstanding. Whatever errors in withholding love will eventually become clear to us along our spiritual path. If we are called upon to walk with our brother/sister for a time in the midst of their suffering or joy, we can be sure of learning from what we see of ourselves in them.
To deny forgiveness is to pass judgment on another and withhold from us the gift of understanding. An unforgiving mind protects projections, tightening the chains of our own victim-hood. Our own ways of hiding from ourselves through projection become more veiled and harder for us to discern, thus less easily accessible to our own reflections through the Voice for God.
Unforgiving, projected thoughts tend to take up a great deal of space in our minds. They have the curious nature of taking control until we ask to see our fellows in the light of love. Whenever we feel discomfort, we can ask for another way of viewing how another person has treated us or treated others. The Voice for God, the Holy Spirit will show us the way beyond any perceived differences as we listen. This is our conscious act of forgiveness.
A forgiving mind stands back from a situation in which there appears to be a wrongdoing and remains still, quietly doing nothing, while consulting with the Voice for God. It stops itself from jumping to offense, attack or self-protection. Such a mind merely looks and empties itself so that the Holy Spirit might give a loving interpretation of the other person's call for love. Without forgiveness, we fall into judgment. Forgiveness can be a welcome and discerning alternative in our minds whenever we feel tightness or the slightest amount of irritability. When we ask for forgiveness, the Voice for God will always answer, therefore this is not a step that we have to do alone. We, in turn, are always forgiven for errors that we make as we forgive others. What relief we feel as we remember more deeply that God is a forgiving God! Now it is time for us, as Children of God, to share that very function, to open ourselves to the innocence in our own reflections and in our perceptions of others.
WAKING MEDITATION
Part 1
Upon completion of the morning deep breathing meditation, make a short list of two or three areas in which there may be a point of controversy in relationships anticipated in the day's events. Simply read over your words and with each phrase that you have read, say the following affirmation:
'This event/relationship/concern need not happen in a fearful framework. God, I ask that you show me only a peaceful and loving solution. Even if we differ in our opinions, may I relate to you from the place in my mind where my Child of God resides.'
As you say these words, after each phrase, take several deep breaths, opening your mind and digesting their full appreciation.
Next visualize your approach with each individual referenced in your phrases. Begin your encounter with a clear meeting of your eyes and a smile. Record in your notebook the level of discomfort rating from one to seven as you contemplate your meeting. Place the faith in a peaceful solution first. Then rate, from one to seven, your emotional state after having spoken the affirmation above, and again after visualizing these meetings.
Part 2
As you go out to physically meet these people, use your earlier visualization as a reference of your intention. When actually having the face-to-face encounter with the person(s) with whom you had anticipated possible tension, meet the eyes of the individual as often as possible. When feeling tempted to defend, convince, or assert your own orientation, step back in your mind and ask the Holy Spirit, the Voice for God, to show you a peaceful solution, at least at the moment. Sometimes this requires simply saying nothing or letting the other party know that at this point, you have to think about the matter before you. Or you might find that understanding and accepting the other party's point of view is a first step in looking toward your own resistance to being open to the lesson being shown through this relationship.
Next, as you are in the midst of this conversation with the other person(s), imagine this person(s) to be yourself. Imagine that you are they and you are taking on their point of view. Notice as you place yourself in this position, how clear your own resistance to seeing their call for love, has been in your mind.
After completing your discussion, think about those fears and irritations that you had previously anticipated would block love and understanding of the other party. Contemplate whether or not those fears came to pass, or whether you were successful in seeing their point of view. Jot down a few key phrases in your small notebook for later contemplation.
Short Waking Meditation and Affirmation to be said and thought as often as you are inspired:
After completing your evening journal entries of the above encounters, review them one more time, and envision the face of the person involved. Then, say the following:
'I bless you for all you have taught me about myself and about my union with God.'
GUIDED IMAGERY
Upon completion of your deep breathing meditation, bring your anticipated grievances of difficult interactions to your altar. These grievances may be symbolized as carried in a heavy bucket you bring to your altar. Feel the weight of this bucket. Feel the weight upon your mind and upon your spirit. Then ask the Holy Spirit what makes it so difficult for you to see a way of loving these persons. Look deeply into the face of the Holy Spirit. Let the Holy Spirit empty the contents of the bucket and as he/she does so, see a radiant light illuminating the lessons that the Holy Spirit wishes to present to you.
Look into that light. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the similarities between yourself and the other parties involved. Let the Holy Spirit show you in little mini-scenes, ways in which you have acted similarly to what you anticipate of the other party. As you keep your mind open, allow the face of the Holy Spirit that has been placed upon your altar to merge with your own. See it transform in your mind. Allow the Holy Spirit to show you who you really are. Don't let yourself force any of these awarenesses. If they don't come immediately, then it's a sign that you may not be ready as yet. Enough will come to give you just the number of lessons that you need for that day. Don't let yourself be talked out of what you have seen by your ranting ego thoughts. Once completing the meditation, jot down in your notebook a few key phrases that you heard and sensed from the Holy Spirit. In the evening, when you do your journal entries, dialogue with the Holy Spirit on how you may alternatively see such qualities in yourself transforming and changing. Express your deep appreciation to the Holy Spirit.
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Reflect on your ratings of comfort/discomfort as you anticipated your particular encounters identified in your morning waking meditation. Then look back on the ratings you noted after the actual encounter. In the evening, write about each one of these meetings in your journal. Dialogue with the Holy Spirit on how your opening to faith in a peaceful solution, one unhampered by past recollections or future anticipations, has helped your mind see this relationship anew. Rate your emotional state as you write about your ability to call upon the Holy Spirit in the name of peace and your mind's salvation. Dialogue with the Holy Spirit on what fears and anticipations you are willing to surrender to the as you see these persons again as you would see yourself.
WHEN IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON
You will want to work this step on its own for some time, as many opportunities for learning forgiveness through relationships will be offered to you. When you are moved to do so, you will return to the meditative exercises. Each time, you will find them easier to execute because your conscious connection with Holy Spirit will be easier to maintain. You will find, especially as you look back on your journal, that the fears and the feeling of being overwhelmed at the prospect of making the necessary changes in your minds perception of relationships becomes more and more distant, lighter and lighter in emphasis, and increasingly unnecessary to hold onto.
In completion of this step, use the following guidelines:
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