It is hard for us to understand that we choose to experience our lives exactly the way they are. While we can easily accept the intellectual thought that "reality is perception", we do not easily translate that into the knowing that our perception actually determines our reality.

This is a process of the growth in consciousness, the knowing of Self. We can speed that process, but must consciously choose to do so. A Course In Miracles says "Truth cannot deal with errors that you want". As long as we relish and enjoy our perception of anything in the world, we will not see it any differently.

If, for example, we believe we have committed "unforgivable sins", we have defined ourselves as "bad", and are therefore "unworthy" of good things. When it looks like good things are about to happen, we subconsciously sabotage them because we believe we are unworthy, and thus prove ourselves right.

We can choose to be "right" or to be happy. To be happy is the choice not to judge, to "come as little children", to say "I know nothing, and therefore cannot judge anything". By consciously making that choice, we "let go and let God", and stop our sabotage. Then the good things can happen, and prove that we really are worthy. And then we let go of the old beliefs of unworthiness and begin to experience a life full of Love.