Forgiving others had always been difficult for me, especially since I was in judgement of them. How could I forgive someone that I thought had done something wrong? Wouldn't that be like condoning their behavior?

Later on when I learned that this forgiveness was for my benefit and not for the other person, it made forgiveness much easier. By forgiving them, I was setting myself free. I was releasing myself from the prison of my "story". I could go on and live my life.

Having lived in a world of fear and mistrust where the principle of an eye for an eye was considered justice, forgiving someone was a gigantic step. The first time was a leap of faith, but as it worked the process became easier.

The latest experience was with my family. We had been estranged for years. I considered them boorish, traditional, closed minded Babbits while they saw me as this mumbo jumbo, airy fairy New Ager. It had gotten to the point, that the weather was the only safe topic of conversation and even that would lead to disagreements and fights.

This Christmas, I decided to rekindle the relationships and get close to my family again. The first thing I did was to forgive my family for being what they were. Instead of expecting them to behave in a manner that I thought was appropriate, I accepted them for what they were. The biggest difference was I stopped being critical of them.

Instead of correcting and chastising them, I agreed with their decisions and wished them well. Because of my behavior change, I was treated by them in the same manner. This new treatment of myself was a bonus, for I was ready to accept their old behavior pattern without comment.

This change made me realize that I was responsible for the old pattern, for I started it and I would yell foul when it was returned to me in kind. What a difference.

This path is not easy nor do I recommend it for anyone. You must personally decide for yourself if you are ready to start this process. Like any other change, if you decide to go this way start slow and small and build yourself up to the larger experiences. With DS anything is possible.