If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, make sure you face true North while typing. This will align you with the meridians and not garble your thoughts. Typing in the nude while sitting on a whoopee cushion will prevent carpal- tunnel syndrome as well as varicose veins. Wearing hair in a pony tail stops blood flow to the brain and causes you to misunderstand others.

In case of emergencies keep chocolate or twinkies handy. They have been used for years by the walla walla tribe to reach higher levels of consciousness. Making funny faces on their side creates bad karma so avoid them at all costs.