Once upon a time, in a land far away, I got mad at God. Looking back now it was over something trivial, but at the time it was really important. You see, I had asked God for something and He did not give it to me. Boy, was I pissed.

However, I had an even bigger problem. I had not way to tell God I was angry and I was ashamed to feel that way cause after all we were supposed to love Him. That would not be nice. So I did the next best thing. I deicded to deny Him and promised myself never to ask Him for anything else. In fact, I would not allow anyone in my presence to speak His name.

All of this was done in secret, less people find out how horrible I was. Anytime I heard the "G" word, I would tell poeple, "You fools, Why do you ask for help from someone that doesn't care? Stop wasting time and if you want something done, do it yourself. TRUST NO ONE." This became my new rule to live by and it served me very well for some time.

One day I got sick, I mean really sick, and was unable to take care of myself. As I lay there in the hospital bed wondering what I was going to do, I got a visit from a "New" doctor. (Strangely he looked like George Burns in a doctors coat.) He picked up my chart and said, "Humm, I see you are tired and worn out from running the Universe. Pretty hard job, if I say so myself. Let me give you my diagosis. You need plenty of bed rest. So let me run the Universe for you untill you feel better, then we'll talk."

"Hey", I said, "Who are you? And where do you get off tellng me what to do? Nobody, I mean nobody, does that, What is you name? I am going to report you to the hospital administration for negligent treatment of patients." I looked at his name tag, but I couldn.t read it cause it was written in another language.

So I said to him, "What kind of a name is that? I looks like Yo-way." He said, "Oh that, that's not my real name. But you see, the name tag lady downstairs is Jewish, so she used a name she was familiar with. My real name is I AM THAT I AM, Most people have a hard time using it especially when they were asking for help or cursing someone. So they gave me a nickname, It's short, sweet and to the point." "What is it," I said. "Well, it's GOD." he said as he patted my on my hand.

"OH MY GOD!!", I said. "What are you doing here? Aren't you mad at me or something and besides you don't care what happens to me. I don't even know if you really exist. You're gonna have to be real good to convince me you are God."

"Listen son", he said, "I really don't have time for this. I have a lot of people that want to see me right away. They seem to think their request is more urgent than yours. But let me tell you, I heard your request for that gun, but I thought in my Infinite Wisdom that it would hurt you more than please you, so I didn't send you one. And the gift I sent instead was returned unopened. So let me tell you a story that tell you what to do when you don't get what you want. OK?"

Now picture this, Summer 1952 and its a real hot day, You are on your way to the drug store with your heart set on having a large vanilla ice cream cone. It's really hot and you can almost taste it before you get there. But when you get there, they are out of vanilla what would you do?

Well, I said, I would probably try to figure out why it had to happen to me, tell others about my experience and vow never to ask for ice cream again so I won't be dissapointed. Then I would discuss this with my therapist and take a seminar on forgiveness.

Listen son, what I would do is ask the drug store clerk what other flavors they had and get one of those. I like to call this going to Plan B. I'll just get vanilla the next time and then I will get 2 cones instead of none,

Oh I get it, I said, I guess it's time for me to go to Plan B. And what is that my son?, he asked. I guess, I'm gonna have to trust you that you know what you're doing and enjoy my strawberry ice cream cone. Then I can also ask for vanilla, later. Oh thank you God, for helpng me see things clearly. And one more thing before you go, You don't mind if I call you DS do you? It seems to fit you better.

Listen, he said You can call me whatever you want as long as you call me. People have been arguing over this for years and I just think it's funny. Well I have to go, there's an atheist down the hall that really needs me and he has finally asked for me.

You know. I won't bug you unless you ask me for help. Now you know how to reach me. I used to have a cell phone, but the calls kept disturbing my visits, so I had it disconnected. All you have to do is go into your heart and there I am, waiting to help you. TRUST ME THIS WORKS A LOT BETTER THAN CELL PHONES OR COMPUTERS.

Good luck. Call me, we'll get together for lunch or something. And don't forget - ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN B HANDY.